


Heavy Air, Heavy Mind, Heavy Body.

by wolfgun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, pretty heavy themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 02:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4162959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfgun/pseuds/wolfgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days, you know; you cannot absolve your sins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavy Air, Heavy Mind, Heavy Body.

Lightning ripples through your body, and your brain vaguely registers searing pain; but years of training reduce it to no more than a slight disturbance.  You watch other people’s eyes widen in many different emotions at once; in horror, realization, confusion, and awe—and you condemn them all.

_This is nothing_ , you tell yourself. _Nothing to what he’s been through._

And yet you start to dwell on their reactions; or, rather, try not to. But being the over thinker you are… thoughts like that are hardly kept at bay.

On some days, usually when others aren’t around, you entertain yourself with thoughts that weigh like lead in your mind. Things you wouldn’t admit to anyone.

You know you are cursed. You know why they give you those kinds of looks. You know what you are.

You cannot absolve your sins.

As much as you would love to, you wouldn’t be able to. And you’re not sure if that’s because you don’t really care, or that you know you can't be saved.

You don’t know which is worse.

Other days, Alluka and Gon occupy your thoughts; and those are the better days. On those days, you are able to feel human. You feel like you deserve a little of what the world has to offer.

But in all reality; you are waiting for the world to strip you from your body. You await the day when all your sins wrap so tightly around you, you can’t breathe; and in all reality, you’d welcome that kind of thing.

If there was any way to make up for what you’ve done, you’d gladly take it.

Your phone rings loudly, and your head snaps up; you quickly answer it and press talk. Relief washes over you.

“Ahhh… Gon.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, Mother forgive my sins and release me from torment, although the words I have spoken reign true; I do not wish to be persecuted for freeing those words that plague my mind.


End file.
